20+ Essential Duties of a Maid of Honour: A Complete Guide

Being chosen as a maid of honour is both a great privilege and an enormous responsibility. This detailed guide will walk you through everything you need to know about this important role.

In this article:

• What is a Maid of Honour?

What is a Maid of Honour?

The maid of honour is chief among the bridesmaids in the wedding party. She usually stands in a close relationship with the bride, being the closest girl or woman friend to her, and therefore is expected to be very important in helping the bride through the wedding planning process and on the day itself. The expectation is that the maid of honour should be the right-hand woman for the bride, giving her support-emotional, of course-but sometimes also practical-and often leading the bridesmaids.

What is the Difference Between Bridesmaid and Maid of Honour?

Though there are both bridesmaids and a maid of honour, all in a very important bridal party, there are several key differences:

1. Amount of responsibility: Duties and responsibilities are generally greater for the maid of honour than other bridesmaids.
2. Relation to the bride : She is normally the closest friend of the bride, or a relative, when other good friends or relatives could be bridesmaids.
3. Leadership role : The usual expectation would be for the maid of honour to lead other bridesmaids in organizing the activities of the bridesmaids, and she has to help coordinate the bride's activities.
4. Ceremony position : At the wedding ceremony, this person normally stands closer than anyone else to the bride.
5. Special tasks: Sometimes the maid of honour is given additional, very special tasks to do. These may include carrying the bride's bouquet for her during the ceremony or giving a speech at the reception.

Where Does 'Maid of Honour' Come From?

The role of a maid of honour has its roots in both Western and Eastern cultures, tracing as far back as several centuries. A short history follows:

• In Ancient Rome, ten people could witness the marriage. She was supposed to help the bride dress and then accompany her to the ceremony.
• In Medieval Europe, this fell to a woman of noble birth that might be serving as an attendant to the Queen.
• During Victorian England, this term cropped up "attendant to the bride," which shortened to "maid of honour."
• It is a role that has evolved over time, but the very basic notion of having one's best woman friend to support a bride down the aisle has remained constant.

Can a Bride Have Two Maids of Honour?

Yes, certainly! Weddings today are very personalized, and many brides opt to have two maids of honour. This could be because:

1. The bride has two equally close friends or sisters and does not want to choose between them.
2. The bride wants to share all the work between two individuals.
3. The wedding party is big, and with two maids of honour, it evens up the balance.

If a bride decides on having two maids of honour, it's well worth defining their roles and responsibilities, so there is less confusion regarding who does what or where.

What Are the Duties of the Maid of Honour?

The responsibilities of the maid of honour can be divided into three: pre-wedding, the big day itself, and post-wedding. While many roles are similar in both the US and UK, there are some striking dissimilarities which we will point out.

Before the Wedding

1. Emotional support: Be available to the bride right through the preparation period, even offering an ear where she may need to vent or a shoulder to cry on and generally offering moral support.
2. Wedding dress shopping: Attend dress fittings with the bride and provide honest opinions.
3. Bridesmaid coordination: Assist in the organization of bridesmaid dress shopping, fittings, along with other group activities.
4. Bridal shower planning: Generally responsible for organizing and hosting the bridal shower in cooperation with other bridesmaids or family members.
5. Organize a bachelorette party: Plan and execute a memorable bachelorette party that suits the bride's preference. In the UK, this is normally known as a "hen do" or "hen party."
6. Assist with DIY projects: Help the bride with any wedding-related crafts or DIY projects.
7. Be a sounding board: Advise and give opinions on various wedding decisions when asked.
8. Record presents received: Help to record presents at events prior to the main wedding, such as the bridal shower. More common in the US.
9. Finalise Details With Vendors and Guests: Assist the bride in giving confirmation of final details to vendors and addressing any last-minute questions from guests.
• Photographer, caterer, and other service timelines Preparing or editing seating charts
• Handle the final RSVPs or changes to the guest list
• Reconfirm any special needs or instructions for setup with the venue

On the Big Day

1. Getting Ready: Assisting the bride in getting ready and perfect for the ceremony.
2. Duties to Bridesmaids: Keep all the bridesmaids organized to make sure each gets ready on time.
3. Emergency kit: Always make sure to prepare any sort of emergency kit that one may bring along, including things like safety pins, tissues, and makeup for touch-ups.
4. Bouquet duty: If required, take care of the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.
5. Ceremony assistance: Assist the bride with getting her dress and veil set right before walking down the aisle.
6. Attend the marriage: Sign the marriage license as a witness. In many cases in the UK for example this is done by two witnesses, often the fathers of the bride and groom.
7. Speech or toast: A warm speech or toast is made at the reception. Speeches by the maid of honour are more usual in the US; traditionally in the UK it is the best man who makes a speech.
8. Dance floor energy: Get the party started on the dance floor.
9. Problem solver: Be ready for any last-minute issues that might pop up.

After the Wedding

1. Gift collection: Help collect and transport wedding gifts.
2. Dress preservation: Assist the bride in making arrangements for her wedding dress to be cleaned and preserved.
3. Clean up the Venue: Assist with cleanup after the wedding, which may include:
• Retrieve personal items-left behind by the bride and groom or guests
• Confirm rental items are all rounded up and ready to take back
• Communicate directly with the venue staff as to who is responsible for clean-up and the responsibility of whom
• Take care of floral arrangements: dispose or preserve at the discretion of the bride and groom
• Pack up decor items to take with them.
4.  Honeymoon assistance: If applicable, assist with any last-minute honeymoon details.
5. Emotional debrief: Make yourself available to the bride to talk about the wedding, processing all of the feelings of the big day.
6. Thank you notes: You can help the newlyweds write and send thank you cards. (This is more traditionally left up to the couple in the UK)

Being the maid of honour is one sure way to show your love and care for a friend or family member. Understand your role and enjoy the various duties accorded to you to make the bride feel magical and memorable on this day, be it in the US, UK, or anywhere else in the world.